Welcome to the new age of anal play. Guys, bring your sense of adventure and ladies, get ready to put on your big girl panties -- or should we say strap-on harness?
The idea that backdoor play is only for homosexual men died with the dinosaurs. This ancient concept is outdated and, quite frankly, lame! Packed with nerve endings, the anus is an often overlooked pleasure point for both men and women. In fact, anal sex is believed to be more pleasurable for men than women thanks to the prostate. Similar to the female G-spot, the P-spot is an internal gland that, when stimulated, provides body-shaking orgasms that’ll leave any guy begging for more and crying for mercy at the same time.
Pegging allows straight men to receive anal sex from their woman and relish in all its glorious pleasure. So, what is pegging exactly and how can newbies ease into it while shedding any preconceived notions?
Tighten your strap-on, grab some lube, and let’s explore our guide to pegging for beginners.
So, What is Pegging Anyway?
Pegging is a sex act that involves a woman performing anal sex on a man using a strap-on dildo.
Let’s face it -- many men and women (regardless of sexual orientation) enjoy a little backdoor play. Tickling, licking, and maybe an inserted pinky-tip, all feel pretty amazing. Pressure applied to the anus during oral sex is an especially enjoyable experience.
There are also countless toys on the market designed specifically for anal play from butt plugs and anal beads to prostate massagers and yes, pegging dildos and strap-on harnesses. For straight men who have graduated from finger insertion to butt plugs and beads, there’s only one thing left to do -- let your girl give it to you from behind!
Pegging is as arousing for many females as it is for their man. While there’s no feeling in the strap-on dildo itself, a female’s pleasure during pegging comes from the sense of control and the ability to bring their partner to one of their most intense orgasms of their lives!
Bring It Up and Talk It Out
Because some people feel pegging is an unconventional or taboo sex act, both partners might be hesitant to mention it. If the woman brings it up and her man lets her do it, he might worry she thinks he’s gay. If the guy is the one who suggests it, he might also worry about seeming gay.
Get this out of your head! This is simply not the case. Like any other sex act that feels amazing and intensifies your orgasm, pegging has nothing to do with sexuality and all to do with making your guy feel good and come harder than ever before. Focus on his pleasure, not on the sex act itself.
If you’re a woman fantasizing about pegging your man, there’s a few things to consider. Has he ever dropped subtle hints that perhaps you overlooked? After a few beers or drinks, did he bring up (or even suggest or ask for) anal play? If your man has let you penetrate him with a finger or two, chances are he’ll be more willing to let you try a strap-on.
Relaxation is key! For some people, having a few drinks lowers their inhibitions and gets their sexual juices flowing. Help your man relax. You know him better than anyone. Pull out all the stops and target all those sexual triggers of his. Give him an intense blow job, sensual massage, or turn on some porn (or all three)! The more fully aroused your guy is, the more likely he’ll be to drop his guard (and his pants) and let you penetrate him. If neither of you are overly nervous about trying pegging, then just go with it and see where things take you.
Another good place to start before advancing to penetration is with the prostate massage.
What is a Prostate Massage and How to Do It?
This isn’t your normal medical exam. The prostate gland is packed with nerve endings that give men some of the most intense orgasms they’ve ever had! This walnut-sized gland is located just a few inches inside the anal canal, making it easy to reach with a finger (or a toy designed for this purpose).
Also known as prostate milking, when the P-spot is stimulated, men can experience body-shaking orgasms and expel a different fluid than regular ejaculate. That’s because the prostate is responsible for producing semen. Following stimulation, your man’s legs will shake, muscles will tighten, and you’ll both be in for quite a treat!
Communication is Key
As with any sex act, both people should be on board. This is where open lines of communication come into play -- both before and during sex. Both partners should express their needs, comfort level, and concerns beforehand.
Once things progress to the bedroom and you’re ready to give this awesome sex act a try, it’s all about communication and going slow. Ladies, ask your man how he’s feeling. Tell him what you’re doing and when. Pay close attention to his body cues and how he responds to different techniques. Guys, don’t be afraid to speak up. Tell your girl if she’s hurting you, when you need more lube, and if you want to change position.
There’s something extremely sexy, vulnerable, and intimate about being this vocal during any sex act. You’ll be surprised how connected you’ll feel to your partner as you navigate this new experience together.
In fact, pegging might actually strengthen your relationship, your communication skills, and your connection during sex. Who knew?
What’s In It for the Ladies?
Hetero guys who are open to the idea of pegging are generally intrigued by a new and different form of pleasure. Many guys can orgasm through anal sex without much effort at all (that’s good news for ladies who are daunted by the idea of hour-long blow jobs). Some men are sexually aroused by the idea of being the more submissive partner for a change. Which is what brings us to our next point -- what’s in it for the ladies?
As a woman, there’s nothing quite as empowering as taking charge and giving your man the orgasm of his life! Pegging puts the woman in the driver’s seat. She’s in control of how hard, fast, and deep to go.
Traditionally, women take a more submissive role during sex. There’s often unfair pressure on the man to be assertive and command the situation. While women can take control of their pleasure and penetration in the cowgirl position (on top), actually penetrating your partner feels completely different. Women who get off on giving pleasure will love the feeling of seeing their man react to this new and exhilarating sensation. Plus, some women claim that strap-ons provide clitoral stimulation.
There’s also something vulnerable about being the receiving partner, too. Pegging lets men enjoy this more submissive role for a change and turns the traditional giving/receiving dynamic on its head.
Pegging Pointers
Once you’re ready to strap-on that strap-on and get down to business, there are a few things to keep in mind. Choosing the right equipment and understanding your options will make for a more satisfying experience for both partners.
Choosing Your Equipment
Not all strap-ons, harnesses, and pegging dildos are created equal. In fact, there are actually strap-on and strapless varieties, plus some pretty amazing stimulators for women.
Strap-on harnesses are the traditional variety and include a harness and an attachable pegging dildo. Harnesses come in a variety of styles and materials and generally sit on the wearers’ hips. Some harnesses have a pocket that fits a vibrator to offer clit stimulation for her during sex.
The strapless variety is designed with both partner’s pleasure in mind. The dildo is used to insert in your man, while the other end is curved and inserted inside the vagina. Not only does this stay in place, but it penetrates you both simultaneously to intensify both your pleasure and your connection.
The key here is to choose something that makes the woman feel like a badass, powerful, and sexy female. The last thing you want is to feel awkward and self-conscious. Make sure your man is comfortable with the size of the pegging dildo as well. Start small and work your way up.
Lubrication Tips
Lube, lube, and more lube. We can’t stress this enough! Any type of anal play is more fun, enjoyable, and safe with lube -- and this is especially true for anal penetration, including pegging.
You also want to choose the right kind of lubricant and apply it correctly. All too often couples think a tiny dab-will-do-ya, but this is rarely the case.
Silicone lube is best for anal sex. It’s thick and long-lasting. But this is only the case if your sex toys and pegging dildos are not made of silicone. If they are, you need to use a water-based lubricant. Silicone lube will destroy your silicone sex toys!
Water-based lube is also fine to use, but keep in mind that without natural lubricant from the receiver (which no one’s anus is self-lubricating), this variety can get sticky. It’s best to keep some water on hand. If things start to dry up or get sticky, add some water to reactivate the water-based lubes ingredients and get back to business!
Keep in mind that one coat of lube on your strap-on and your man’s ass is not enough. The entire concept behind using lube for pegging (and anal sex in general) is to actually get the entire anal canal lubricated. The only way to do this is with constant insertion.
Start by placing a good amount of lube on both the dildo and around the rim of the anus. Insert about an inch and then pull out. Apply more lube and try again, penetrating your man a little deeper each time. Keep repeating this process. Your goal is to get the lubricant inside his anal canal comfortably. This could take as many as 10 to 20 tries so don’t get discouraged. As the dildo begins to slide more easily inside, you’ll know you’re doing it right!
Enjoy the Process
For the love of God, don’t just jam a dildo up your bum (or your partner’s bum). Anal play is all about going slow, which is why there are anal stretching kits designed specifically for this purpose. The anal canal is only so big. It needs time and practice to stretch and expand wide enough to welcome even a small pegging dildo.
Your best bet is to start off slow with other forms of anal play like we mentioned earlier -- tongues, fingers, plugs, and beads are great starters. But even when you’ve done plenty of poking around back there and you’re ready for pegging, you need to go slow.
Let him insert the tip of the dildo first. He’ll know what feels good, what doesn’t, and if he’s feeling any sort of strange resistance (shit happens, literally). Once his body gets used to this foreign object, he can give over control to you.
Remember, anal sex and pegging are all about communication and trust. Start with slow, gentle movements. Let him know before you go any deeper. Ask him if it feels ok and if he wants more or less. If he’s not verbally communicating, pay close attention to his body and how he reacts to your movements.
This complete trust combined with exploring a new sexual experience together is what makes pegging a pretty awesome and intimate sex act.
Pay Attention All His Feel Good Areas
Yes, pegging, by definition, is penetrating the anus with a strap-on dildo but there are plenty of other sexy spots back there deserving of your attention. The perineum, the testicles, and with a little flexibility (and a reach around), his cock.
Don’t be discouraged if he loses his erection. This happens to a lot of men during anal penetration. This is why constant communication is so important. Keep doing what you’re doing unless he directs you otherwise.
Have your man get on all fours and start by tickling, teasing, licking, and tugging whatever feels good. The more relaxed and more excited he is, the easier it’ll be to gain entry. A nice lower back massage or even rubbing his legs and thighs might just do the trick.
Try Different Positions
It’s all about the delivery. Certain sexual positions work best for anal entry and pegging. The first thing to consider is both of your comfort levels. Your man’s relaxation is most important.
Start by laying on your side in a spooning position with your man in front of you. There’s something relaxing about the fetal position and it also perfectly aligns his ass with your tool. You can also have your man lay on his back with his legs up or draped over your shoulders. This gives you the perfect view of his face and package. Eye contact can tell you a lot about how much he’s enjoying it.
Other good pegging positions include him on his stomach with you straddling him or you sitting down and him sliding onto the dildo either facing you or with his back to you.
Pegging Pleasure Explained
Now that you know what pegging is and tips for easing into it, you and your partner can safely explore the world of anal play and penetration.
Ladies, don’t be alarmed if your man asks for it and guys, don’t be afraid to speak up and tell your woman what you want. After all, sex is about intimacy and having awesome orgasms. If it feels good and intensifies your pleasure, why would you NOT try it?
Pegging is all about patience, trust, and open communication. Guys, after your woman is done giving you the pounding of your life, turn her over and return the favor!
April Sutphen
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