The Secret of the Shared Orgasm

It’s no secret that men climax more often (and more easily) than women. (Lucky bastards.) 

In fact, men orgasm during sex 85% of the time compared to women who only experience the big O about 63% of the time. Women are also more likely to orgasm when having sex with a familiar partner, so that’s good news for all the married or monogamous couples out there. Why is this, you may ask? Because women respond better to sex when they have an emotional connection with their partner. 

Ready for some more good news? 

Nearly 90% of couples report having shared a mutual orgasm at least once. That means that, although sometimes hard to achieve, a shared orgasm is possible. But, how is it done and what are the benefits? 

Here we’ll uncover the best sex positions and foreplay to achieve a shared orgasm with your partner and the many ways it can strengthen your connection and intimacy (aside from the fact that it feels amazing).

“Come with me” to learn more about simultaneous orgasm and soon you’ll be saying those same three words to your other half.

How Does Mutual Orgasm Work?

A shared orgasm happens when two partners climax at the same exact time. 

The benefits of having an orgasm go far beyond the fact that they feel incredible. Climaxing can reduce stress, help you sleep better, and improve your mood. Beyond the physical, there are also emotional benefits of having an orgasm and this is especially true when it comes to mutual orgasms.

Having sex with your partner is about connecting on a deeper level. Getting to know their body from the inside out (literally) means finding new and exciting ways to please one another. But the truth is, two people don’t always reach their trigger point at the same time. In many cases, one partner slows down and waits for the other to catch up or hurries the other one along, hoping they can accelerate their pleasure to match whoever’s closer to the finish line. This sounds more like a race to climax than a mutual give-and-take between two people who share an intimate connection. 

The more in-sync you are with your partner’s body, needs, and emotions, the more likely you are to enjoy what some people consider one of the greatest joys of sex -- the mutual orgasm. Being in-sync with your partner’s body also means being connected on a more intimate level. In many cases, these two things go hand-in-hand.

Another awesome benefit of unlocking shared orgasms is that you and your partner can enjoy that wonderful post-climax afterglow together. Men, avoid rolling over, falling asleep, and snoring moments after you finish. Instead, let your woman rest her head on your chest, drape her arm over your stomach, and sigh that satisfied sigh that follows an intense orgasm. While that doesn’t mean you have to cuddle all night long, there is something nice about relishing in that moment of pure sexual satisfaction together. In fact, some studies show that this moment of shared bliss creates a more intense sexual bond that can last up to 48 hours! 

Whether you’ve achieved a mutual orgasm before aren’t sure how to recreate it or haven’t quite figured out the trick to reaching this pinnacle of sexual intimacy, we’ve got some tips that will help.

Tips for Achieving a Shared Orgasm

Mutual orgasms rarely happen by accident. It’s usually thanks to a deep connection and understanding of what makes your partner tick (plus a few other tricks). This relationship doesn’t happen overnight. The good news is, you’ll need plenty of practice to get it right, which means more sex for you both! 

Choose the Right Sex Position

Certain angles and positions make it easier to achieve mutual orgasm. The truth is, it’s really about the ladies. Men can cum during missionary, cowgirl, doggy style, oral sex, and sometimes, without any help from their partner. So, guys, pay close attention to what your girl needs and which positions get her closer to the peak of her pleasure.

Cowgirl (her on top) puts the woman in control of her pleasure. She can ride exactly how she likes, rubbing her clit against your body or wherever it feels best. Cowgirl pretty much takes the guesswork out of it for the man. Just lay back, relax, and let her ride you into a fury of sexual arousal. The hardest part (besides you), will be holding off until she’s ready. Let her know when you’re close so she can slow down or adjust her movements.

Missionary is another fan favorite for mutual orgasm because it allows for plenty of eye contact, caressing, and the feeling of being close to one another. With the guy on top, he should focus on slow grinding and rubbing motions rather than fast thrusting. The trick is for his pubic bone to make contact with her vulva. 

Take things to the kitchen and have the woman sit on the counter or a barstool. This is a perfect angle for vaginal intercourse and an even better angle for achieving mutual orgasm. It’s even better when you bring a vibrating toy along for added stimulation for both of you.

If you’re trying to achieve a G-spot orgasm, the ideal angle is 27 degrees. Now, that doesn’t mean you have to whip out a tape measure during sex, but you may want to invest in some quality sex furniture or a position enhancer that comfortably supports your body as you grind your way to simultaneous pleasure. 

Use Specially Designed Sex Toys 

There are even toys designed specifically to help you and your partner achieve a shared orgasm. Our Girth Enhancement Pleasure Sleeve is one such toy. Created to increase his girth by 50% and her pleasure by infinite amounts, it’s also aimed at helping you both achieve mutual orgasms and a deeper connection.

Did you know that the majority of a female’s nerve endings are located only a few inches inside the vagina? That means a thicker cock is more likely to help her achieve orgasm than a longer one. By increasing your girth, you’re increasing your chances of creating that shared moment of unmatched pleasure. Another added bonus is that the flexible strap that holds the Please Sleeve in place replicates a cock ring, designed to create a harder erection and boost stamina, which means you can avoid finishing too soon. 

Check off all the boxes (including hers) with our Pleasure Sleeve with Clit Stimulator which offers dual stimulation, something else many women need to achieve orgasm (more on this in a minute).

Get Her Wet

There’s nothing worse than a lack of lubrication -- both men and women can agree on that one! If she’s not horny and wet, it’ll make for some pretty uncomfortable and unsatisfying sex. Not only will it be nearly impossible to achieve a mutual orgasm but she may not be able to climax at all. Another issue is that the more friction that occurs downstairs, the less likely women are to create their own natural lubrication. 

There are a few ways to address this issue -- plenty of foreplay or plenty of lube. 

Foreplay is beneficial for many reasons but the build-up for women is key. Touch, tickle, tease, lick, suck, watch porn -- whatever it takes to help your woman relax and get the juices flowing (literally). When in doubt, bust out the lube! Water-based or silicone are the two most popular choices. If you’re using silicone sex toys, opt for a water-based lubricant that helps protect the velvety smooth material. On the other hand, silicone lube is slightly thicker but could damage your sex toys. Combine foreplay and lube by trying flavored lubricants that are edible and delicious.

Men, Slow Your Roll

Remember how we said that men can pretty much climax at the drop of a hat? (Or your pants.) One of the key factors to experiencing simultaneous orgasm is for him to keep himself from getting too excited, too fast. Some guys do this by thinking of the unsexiest things imaginable like baseball or their taxes. By not focusing on how incredible your naked body feels, they can prevent themselves from exploding too soon. The problem is that this takes them out of the moment. They’re actively trying NOT to get turned on by you. That’s no fun! 

Instead of forcing your man to imagine he’s on line at the DMV or getting dental work done, try a more enjoyable way to keep his orgasm at bay. Cock rings achieve this goal while also offering added stimulation for you. Cock rings are designed to not only increase the size of a guy’s penis but also to boost stamina. By restricting blood flow to the head, men can last longer, which means their peak should align better with yours. 

Ladies, Don’t Neglect Your Kegel Exercises 

The guys aren’t the only ones who can make changes to their sexual routines in the hopes of reaching orgasm together. Ladies, doing your kegel exercises has never been more important. Sure, most women do them to tighten their vaginas but did you know that having strong pelvic floor muscles actually makes it easier for you to climax? Not only will you cum faster, but also harder and for longer. 

There are countless ways to strengthen your kegel muscles from manual exercises to the help of fancy devices such as kegel balls and toners. In reality, they’re all virtually the same thing -- weights for your vagina. Once you place these balls inside your vagina (they come in different sizes based on your experience level), your body will naturally take hold, gripping them in an effort to keep them in place. Over time, your pelvic floor will be stronger and so will your orgasms.

Dual Stimulation is Where It’s At

Most women need both vaginal and clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. In fact, many women can (and do) climax from clit stimulation alone. A small percentage of women can reach orgasm through just vaginal intercourse. This is why dual stimulation (specifically clit stimulation) is so important when trying to orgasm together.

There are plenty of toys available that can help with this. Don’t worry, guys, we don’t expect you to make the magic happen all on your own. Your girl can rub her clit or hold a vibrator in place while you drive it home! Some positions like those mentioned above make it easier for your balls to make contact with her clit during intercourse, delivering that oh-so-important double-whammy

Delve Deeper (Literally)

The secret to a woman’s desire lies beyond her clit (although that’s one of the best ways in.) The G-spot is another incredible erogenous zone for ladies that, when located and stimulated right, can lead to mind-blowing mutual orgasms. 

Located on the inner wall of the vagina, about 1-2 inches inside the opening, the G-spot is known as one of the greatest sources of female pleasure. There are hundreds of curved vibrators and sex toys designed specifically to stimulate this hard-to-reach area. With a little help from a toy or a sex pillow for support, you may be able to tap into this secret spot and make her cum as fast as you!

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

For most couples, reaching the pinnacle of pleasure at the same magical moment doesn’t happen by chance. It takes practice, communication, and a deep understanding of your partner’s wants and needs. All of these factors work in harmony to help you achieve a simultaneous orgasm that leaves your bodies trembling with desire and your minds and hearts more connected than ever before.

April Sutphen

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