All you guys out there, listen up. And women, send this to your men!
WOMEN WANT ALPHA MALES
Whether or not you believe it, the majority of women prefer a dominant, male partner. It’s an animalistic trait that the female sex can’t fight. From animals to humans, men are designed to take a more assertive role. That’s not to say women need to be submissive to their men at all times, but it does mean that the more dominance and confidence you portray, the more likely you are to not only attract women but sexually arouse them.
Being a strong, Alpha male is about more than just ruling the roost in the bedroom -- it’s about improving the entire dynamic of your relationship. Do you want to know how to become more dominant both in and out of the bedroom? Keep reading to learn ways to assert your dominance and regain your confidence and the respect of your woman. We’ll even share specific phrases and behaviors to increase your masculine appeal and arouse and excite your woman.
The Proof is in the Statistics: Women Want to Be Dominated
Don’t believe me that women actually like an assertive man who takes control? Here are a few statistics for you to chew on.
- 65% of women have fantasies of being dominated
- 52% of women want to be tied up
- 36% of women want to be spanked
- ⅔ of women like rough sex and want to be dominated in bed
So, chances are, from a girlfriend to a wife at home to that innocent-looking girl behind the counter at the coffee shop, they’re all probably begging to be dominated. The only question that remains is how to become more dominant and give the ladies what they want. But the real answer lies in not just how to be more dominant in bed but also how to be more dominant in a relationship. By changing both your everyday behaviors and how you take charge in the bedroom, you’ll transform your woman into a sex-hungry maniac who willingly surrenders herself to you.
Sound too good to be true? It’s not. Let’s talk about subtle changes you can make in and out of the bedroom that will help you have more dominant sex.
How to Become More Dominant Starts with Knowing How to Handle Your Business
No woman wants a pussy. If she did, she’d be a lesbian. If you want to command respect and portray a dominant, in-control man in the bedroom, you need to carry yourself through life that way.
Despite what most women claim about wanting to be completely independent, females are naturally submissive and indecisive. They want you to take charge and make a decision. That’s why they wait for you to open their door, pull out their chair, and pay the bill. They like a man with a plan. Be a leader and take the initiative.
When you’re out to dinner, order her drink and dinner for her. If she’s compliant and allows you to command the situation, chances are she’ll respond well to your sexual dominance as well. Not only do most women subconsciously want you to take charge, but it arouses them when you do.
Present Yourself with Confidence
It’s not what you say, but how you say it. There’s a certain level of truth to this when deciding how to become more dominant for your lady. The tone of your voice and body language speak volumes for asserting your dominance. Speak with authority and conviction. Remove doubt from the situation by stating facts, not asking questions.
Simple things like saying, “I’m picking you up at 7:00, be ready” or “We’re going to stay in tonight.” Take control of the situation and she’ll thank you for it -- hopefully in sexual favors.
Start on the Road to More Dominant Sex with Small Changes
Rome wasn’t built in a day -- and you’re not going to become the dominant, in-control man your woman’s secretly begging for overnight. Making too many changes too soon could backfire. Not only will your girl wonder who you are and what you’ve done with the man she knew, but you may unintentionally cross the line between assertive partner and asshole.
Start your journey toward male dominance by making small, subtle changes in your behavior outside the bedroom. Eye contact is one of your most powerful tools. Hold her gaze before or after a kiss or across the table at dinner. Nothing says “I’m going to devour you” more than steady eye contact.
Plan an evening out but don’t divulge any details. She doesn’t need to know where you’re going. Make all the arrangements and just tell her what time to be ready. This shows you’re not afraid to control a situation and make decisions.
From initiating a blow job to controlling sex, try gentle hair pulling. It should be firm but not painful. Run your hand through her hair, with your palm flat against her scalp and her hair between your fingers. Gather her hair at the roots and give a firm tug. Avoid pulling at the ends or yanking too fast. A nice, firm grasp on her hair is a very primal, masculine gesture that portrays the message, “I’ve got you and I want all of you.”
Being a Dominant Partner Means Asking for Sex With Conviction
There’s nothing more pathetic than a man begging for sex. Don’t simply say, “Can I have sex with you?” It makes you sound unsure of yourself and desperate. It also puts you in the submissive role, which is the opposite of what she really wants.
Instead, phrase the question like this -- “Are you ready to get fucked?” You’re still asking for consent but in a much more dominant way. You’re telling her what you plan to do to her. She knows right away that you plan to ravish her and she needs to be a good little girl and let you. It also shows that you’re confident that she wants you to fuck her. You’re now in charge of not only yourself but her and the entire situation.
Of course, there’s always that gray area of consent when playing with the dominant and submissive role. Which leads to our next point...
You Can Be Dominant While Still Respecting Her Boundaries
No matter the situation or the parameters of your relationship, no means no. Knowing how to become more dominant doesn’t mean forcing yourself on your partner. It’s about commanding respect and taking the lead. You need to respect your partner’s boundaries. Although it’s not the sexiest approach, it may help to talk about certain elements beforehand. While you don’t need to ask her if it’s okay for you to order her meal, you should get the green light before shoving her head downtown for a blow job or calling her a “nasty slut”. The objective is to arouse not offend her.
Tips on How to Talk Dirty and Dominate
There are so many ways to incorporate dirty talk in the bedroom. But if you’re learning how to become more dominant, there are certain techniques that work best. The first thing to consider is your woman’s personality and sexual openness. Some of you may have a girl who doesn’t mind being called a “dirty whore” while she’s washing the dishes. Others would earn a slap across the face for that (and not in a good way). Some women need to be in the heat of passion to enjoy hardcore dirty talk. Know your audience before proceeding.
A good place to start is talking dirty while she’s giving you head. What more submissive role is there than a woman between your legs, pleasuring you? Let her know that she’s doing a good job without laying it on too thick. Don’t show weakness by moaning uncontrollably or cumming in two seconds flat. It’s not sexy and it’s certainly not what a dominant man would do. If you want to show your partner that you’re in control, that includes controlling your own pleasure and excitement. Don’t let her know that you’re about to bust a nut in her mouth. You need to be strong and prolong the pleasure.
Instead, try saying things like “I like what you’re doing” or “Go slower (or faster)”. If you’ve already elevated your dominant role and your partner is familiar with you talking to her during the act, throw in a few of these phrases:
- “Do you like sucking my dick?”
- “Suck my dick like a good girl?”
- “How does that taste?”
- “Lick my balls.”
Next on the list of how to become more dominant is using “pet names”. No, we’re not talking about things like “sweetheart” or “honey”. Remember, you’re running the show here and she’s just along for the ride. Granted, you may not really feel that way about your girl, but that’s the dynamic you want to portray.
See how she feels about being called “bitch” or even “slut”. Believe it or not, being demeaned in bed is a huge turn-on for a lot of women. These aren’t words you use over the dinner table. Don’t throw them out before the moment, but wait for the right moment. If your partner is offended by these phrases, stick with more mild name-calling like “little girl” or “baby”. Throw in a possessive “my” to reaffirm your dominant role. You can also encourage her to call you things like “daddy” or “sir”.
Other Ways to Explore Dirty Talk
When you’re learning how to be more dominant, dirty talk takes on a whole new meaning. It’s more than just saying things like, “Oh yes, right there”, or “I like that”. The words you say and when and how you say them can change the entire dynamic and shift the power in your favor.
Here are a few of our favorite ways to command respect and exert your masculinity during sex.
Tell Her She’s a Bad Girl
“I know what you’re thinking, you dirty little slut.”
“You know what wearing that dress does to me. You’re so bad.”
“You’re a naughty girl, aren’t you?”
Tell Her What You’re Doing is Bad
“We shouldn’t be doing this…”
“I want to taste you (eat you, fuck you) right here and now, but that would be wrong.”
“You smell so fucking good. No, we can’t do this right now… but your skin is so smooth…”
Be Possessive
“That pussy is mine.”
“Your ass belongs to me.”
“Surrender yourself to me. Let go, I’ve got you.”
Tell Her What She Likes
“You like getting fucked by this dick.”
“You love sucking cock you dirty whore.”
“You like that, don’t you?”
You can effectively use any variation of these phrases, depending on your level of comfort and how kinky your sex life is. Work your way up to some of the more aggressive phrases and personalize them by highlighting specific sex acts or body parts that you and your partner enjoy most about each other. It’s all about being dominant while also being complimentary. If you push the envelope too far, you might offend her and find yourself begging for forgiveness -- the opposite of being a strong, Alpha male.
Cuddle Like a King
Your work as the dominant male partner isn’t over once you climax. After you fuck her into submission, you need to cuddle her -- hold her, ask her how she’s feeling, and gently rub her skin as she snuggles up next to you.
Did you know that there’s actually a right and wrong way to cuddle your partner while still maintaining the dominant role?
Snuggle her by taking the king’s position. Lie on your back and let your girl curl her body around you in whatever way is comfortable for her. Most women will instinctively crawl up next to you, placing their head on your chest and draping their arm across your torso. This is just one more way to assert your dominant role. You’re the strong, constant source of protection and comfort. Let her relish in the amazing orgasm you just gave her. Your bodies were made for this position. You’re larger and stronger. She’s small and submissive. Beckon her over to you. Use the phrase, “Come here, my queen”. This lets her know you respect her but that you’re still in charge. Snuggling after sex reaffirms your dominance while increasing intimacy.
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to how to become more dominant, but with these tips, you’ll quickly learn that not only does your woman WANT to be dominated, but your confidence will sore once you take a stronger, more masculine stance in the relationship. This goes for both in and out of bed. Carry yourself with confidence. Command the room and the situation. When done right, your girl will be begging to give you a blow job while you pull her hair and tell her she’s a naughty girl!
April Sutphen
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